It's been way too long since my last blog. Blogs are tricky creatures-- or at least for me they are. I find it hard to write anything without attaching my feelings, thoughts, and passion. Yet blogs are out there for the whole world to gaze at. Attach a ministry title to yourself and you realize that what you are feeling and thinking cannot always be passionately released for all to absorb.
I say all that to say that for months I have found the idea of blogging to exhausting and have all together avoided it. I do not know if I'll keep this blog up or not. The next couple of weeks will be filled with high school and junior high football games, tailgating ministry, studying, 10 year class reunion, and catching up on a heap of work.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
new blog post
Basketball season, youth drama productions, and a whirlwind of spiritual warfare has filled my days since my last post. In many ways, it would be easier to let silence continue to hover over this blog spot. Partly for entertainment purposes and partly for personal motivation, I'm making an effort to put something down. Here's a few thoughts that have gone through my mind lately:
1. I like it when people call me friend or buddy. It has a kind and personal touch that makes me feel special.
2. I don't think I'll ever grow tired of drinking sweet tea.
3. It hurts when you tell people that you love them and they don't say it back.
4. Garden grown tomatoes are awesome, and anyone that plans on growing some this summer would bring joy to my life by sharing with me.
5. I can't believe I'm about to turn 28. I think 27 was the last cool birthday party. 28 and 29 are such random numbers... and let's not even start to think of 30...
1. I like it when people call me friend or buddy. It has a kind and personal touch that makes me feel special.
2. I don't think I'll ever grow tired of drinking sweet tea.
3. It hurts when you tell people that you love them and they don't say it back.
4. Garden grown tomatoes are awesome, and anyone that plans on growing some this summer would bring joy to my life by sharing with me.
5. I can't believe I'm about to turn 28. I think 27 was the last cool birthday party. 28 and 29 are such random numbers... and let's not even start to think of 30...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
a beautiful reminder
Last night was a beautiful reminder of the power of prayer and God's skill at using us when we are at our weakest. Lately I have been battling fatigue and spiritual warfare, and by the time I reached this week's GroundZero I was full of dread. Normally I would characterize GroundZero, our weekly youth worship time, as the highlight of my week. The previous mentioned battles, however, had me feeling zapped of all energy and overall reluctant to stand before a room full of youth and youth leaders.
Before rounding up our praise team to do my weekly routine of praying over them and their time of leading us in music, I grabbed a couple of friends and asked them to pray over me. After they spent a few minutes praying with me, I headed out with the praise team. I took a deep breath as to say "here we go" and begin the weekly prayer time. As I begin to pray, I felt that strength and movement inside of me that can only be credited and described as the Holy Spirit. As my mouth moved, the words that flowed seemed to not be my own and I knew that God was in control.
God filled me with the energy I needed and was faithful to give me the word's needed to deliver the weekly devotion. I cannot measure last night's success in the absence of public decisions or by the absence of complements. Humanly, we think that those two things are the mark of "a good service." Instead, I have to acknowledge what God did in me last night and remember that the results are not up to me. Trusting that God is at work can be difficult when we cannot measure it in the tangible form we hope for. But when we are willing to take our blinders off, we see His beautiful reminders...
Before rounding up our praise team to do my weekly routine of praying over them and their time of leading us in music, I grabbed a couple of friends and asked them to pray over me. After they spent a few minutes praying with me, I headed out with the praise team. I took a deep breath as to say "here we go" and begin the weekly prayer time. As I begin to pray, I felt that strength and movement inside of me that can only be credited and described as the Holy Spirit. As my mouth moved, the words that flowed seemed to not be my own and I knew that God was in control.
God filled me with the energy I needed and was faithful to give me the word's needed to deliver the weekly devotion. I cannot measure last night's success in the absence of public decisions or by the absence of complements. Humanly, we think that those two things are the mark of "a good service." Instead, I have to acknowledge what God did in me last night and remember that the results are not up to me. Trusting that God is at work can be difficult when we cannot measure it in the tangible form we hope for. But when we are willing to take our blinders off, we see His beautiful reminders...
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
rambling about a banner
I've made numerous attempts at blogging since my last post, but a combination of fatigue and the feeling of a lack of something worth saying always ended my attempt. Perhaps I have come across something that is worth drawing attention to. Hopefully I will be able to fight off this unusual fatigue I've been facing to finish this post!
While reading an online article, I came across a very intriguing and yet very sad banner. The banner read "Since the start of the Iraq war 7,630,472 American children have died to abortion." I could instantly see the tree hugging, antiwar liberals bawling their eyes out at one of their "don't cut down our trees" or "stop the war!" protest. (I'll be sure to post a link later as to what exactly i'm talking about with the trees.) Yet these same people-- passionate about the cause to save the environment and end the shedding of blood in foreign countries-- fight for a woman to have the power to choose what she wants to happen to her own body, even when this results in the dealth of a child.
But before I get too busy pointing fingers at people who have been blinded by "the god of this world," I should first point the finger at myself and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Abortion is very wrong, and those that fight to keep it legal no doubt will have a price to pay. We must remember, however, that those who have not come to know the love of God cannot begin to value His word. But what about those of us who do know the love of God?
Most Christians will agree that abortion is wrong; the lines are blurred for some on determining if there is ever a case, such as rape, where it is permitted. I'm not even going to attempt to hammer away on that one. God's word is clear, and we either except all or none. While I am concerned that we do not do enough to save unborn lives, my bigger concern is that we do not value human life as a whole.
How many homes have been destroyed since the start of the "dreadful war that we must end" due to pornography? Oh, we say that pornography is horrible in one breath but we then attempt to excuse it in another stating that "it's just a normal thing that every guy does." Do we stop to realize how valuable the life of those people being exploded really is? Do we take this in to consideration when we fork out money to buy tickets to rated R movies that feed our nation's thirst for nudity and sexual content?
What about suicide? How many teenagers have ended thier lives since the start of the war because they felt rejected, abandoned, or not good enough? Do we teach our youth to set an example in speech and love and to value everyone, or do we laugh it off when they are making fun of "that nerd in class." The examples could go on for days.
Perhaps we all-- myself included--need to step back and remember what Christ summed up to be the greatest command: Love God, love others. Mark 12:28-31
While reading an online article, I came across a very intriguing and yet very sad banner. The banner read "Since the start of the Iraq war 7,630,472 American children have died to abortion." I could instantly see the tree hugging, antiwar liberals bawling their eyes out at one of their "don't cut down our trees" or "stop the war!" protest. (I'll be sure to post a link later as to what exactly i'm talking about with the trees.) Yet these same people-- passionate about the cause to save the environment and end the shedding of blood in foreign countries-- fight for a woman to have the power to choose what she wants to happen to her own body, even when this results in the dealth of a child.
But before I get too busy pointing fingers at people who have been blinded by "the god of this world," I should first point the finger at myself and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Abortion is very wrong, and those that fight to keep it legal no doubt will have a price to pay. We must remember, however, that those who have not come to know the love of God cannot begin to value His word. But what about those of us who do know the love of God?
Most Christians will agree that abortion is wrong; the lines are blurred for some on determining if there is ever a case, such as rape, where it is permitted. I'm not even going to attempt to hammer away on that one. God's word is clear, and we either except all or none. While I am concerned that we do not do enough to save unborn lives, my bigger concern is that we do not value human life as a whole.
How many homes have been destroyed since the start of the "dreadful war that we must end" due to pornography? Oh, we say that pornography is horrible in one breath but we then attempt to excuse it in another stating that "it's just a normal thing that every guy does." Do we stop to realize how valuable the life of those people being exploded really is? Do we take this in to consideration when we fork out money to buy tickets to rated R movies that feed our nation's thirst for nudity and sexual content?
What about suicide? How many teenagers have ended thier lives since the start of the war because they felt rejected, abandoned, or not good enough? Do we teach our youth to set an example in speech and love and to value everyone, or do we laugh it off when they are making fun of "that nerd in class." The examples could go on for days.
Perhaps we all-- myself included--need to step back and remember what Christ summed up to be the greatest command: Love God, love others. Mark 12:28-31
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Some unusual venting
Want to know what really puts a bur under my saddle? No? Well too bad as this happens to be my blog.
It amazes me how during the super bowl and college bowl games, a nation of non football fans seems to rise around me. These people do not experience the gut wrenching agony of following a team's ups and downs through out the season. They do not invest any time or effort in to following statics, rankings, or anything that would classify them into the mildest category of a football fan. Yet when "the big game" kicks off, they take some misguiding information from bias sports commentators and develop an opinion as to "who the better team is." This is always the team picked to win by the previously mentioned bias sports commentators. And when that team wins, they gloat and rub it in in the nastiest, most undignified way.
Why is this so nasty and undignified? Because they have not earned an opinion in the matter. Watching one game a year does not qualify you as an expert on the matter, nor does it give you the benefit to rub it in as those fellow rivals that battle it out with you week after week, season after season. To some, it's a stupid boring game only worth watching when "the commercials are good." To others of us, it is a fine art and only those of us who belong to the family of true football fans earn the right to rag each other.
Now, with that said. No, I do not believe you should root for the Cardinals and Kurt Warner JUST because he is a Christian. But unless you fall in to that fine art appreciating, bear it all season I previously mentioned, do not criticize my sadness over Kurt's loss.
Kurt, you had an amazing year. You were written off as long gone and in much need of retirement, and yet you guided your team to the Super Bowl. No, your team did not get to come home with a ring. But you did prove to be one of the two best teams in the game by simply earning your way into the Super Bowl. I love to see Eli Manning play, but Kurt will always be my favorite quarterback!!
It amazes me how during the super bowl and college bowl games, a nation of non football fans seems to rise around me. These people do not experience the gut wrenching agony of following a team's ups and downs through out the season. They do not invest any time or effort in to following statics, rankings, or anything that would classify them into the mildest category of a football fan. Yet when "the big game" kicks off, they take some misguiding information from bias sports commentators and develop an opinion as to "who the better team is." This is always the team picked to win by the previously mentioned bias sports commentators. And when that team wins, they gloat and rub it in in the nastiest, most undignified way.
Why is this so nasty and undignified? Because they have not earned an opinion in the matter. Watching one game a year does not qualify you as an expert on the matter, nor does it give you the benefit to rub it in as those fellow rivals that battle it out with you week after week, season after season. To some, it's a stupid boring game only worth watching when "the commercials are good." To others of us, it is a fine art and only those of us who belong to the family of true football fans earn the right to rag each other.
Now, with that said. No, I do not believe you should root for the Cardinals and Kurt Warner JUST because he is a Christian. But unless you fall in to that fine art appreciating, bear it all season I previously mentioned, do not criticize my sadness over Kurt's loss.
Kurt, you had an amazing year. You were written off as long gone and in much need of retirement, and yet you guided your team to the Super Bowl. No, your team did not get to come home with a ring. But you did prove to be one of the two best teams in the game by simply earning your way into the Super Bowl. I love to see Eli Manning play, but Kurt will always be my favorite quarterback!!
Monday, January 26, 2009
The Big D-- and I DO mean Dallas
I can now mark one more state off my list in order to reach my goal of visiting all 50. With a good bit of cleverness and a bit of work, I managed to surprise Paul with a short weekend trip to Dallas this past weekend. Seeing new scenery while putting all of our "to-do" lists on hold proved to be quite refreshing. I will have to confess that I did perhaps eat a slight bit more than I should have being that I'm on a mission fundraiser diet called "Don't Feed the Staff." While I found myself to be a fan of the variety of eating establishments and specialty shops the area offers, I do not foresee myself signing up to battle the traffic there on any regular basis.
Returning home late Saturday evening meant plunging into Sunday prep. God has blessed me with an opportunity to serve in a great ministry. I do not always feel adequate... in fact, I often feel lacking. Yet God constantly reminds me that He is our strength, and when He calls He equips. It seems as if January has flown by and there is so much to do in the coming weeks and months! One important challenge is just learning to take things one day at a time and experience the lessons and blessing God has knitted into each of those days. That's a bit hard for me-- a constantly anxious person, always looking to what's ahead-- but I continue to learn to do this with the help of some great people God has placed in my life. My wonderful husband is at the top of that list, always reminding me to be patient and take things one day at a time.
Returning home late Saturday evening meant plunging into Sunday prep. God has blessed me with an opportunity to serve in a great ministry. I do not always feel adequate... in fact, I often feel lacking. Yet God constantly reminds me that He is our strength, and when He calls He equips. It seems as if January has flown by and there is so much to do in the coming weeks and months! One important challenge is just learning to take things one day at a time and experience the lessons and blessing God has knitted into each of those days. That's a bit hard for me-- a constantly anxious person, always looking to what's ahead-- but I continue to learn to do this with the help of some great people God has placed in my life. My wonderful husband is at the top of that list, always reminding me to be patient and take things one day at a time.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Dazed and Confused
It's no huge surprise that I tend to drift into my own little world, forgetting significant details like where I am and what exactly it is that I'm doing. I need no help in derailing my train of thought, but inevitably I gain access to situations that help knock the old through process of course.
Wait... where was I going with this?? No seriously!!! OH... the other day at Walmart! I decide yesterday afternoon to make a quick trip to Walmart to pick up a few items. Walmart has a sort of... zombie-ish effect on my state of mind. When alone, I tend to wonder through the store emotionless and thoughtless. I somehow manage to gather the item or two I came in to get, but I usually have no memory of how these items came about entering my hands. (Hey! Maybe that's why I get so many funny looks when I'm in walmart...
I manage to pay for the items I had gathered and started toward my Mazda Tribute to hurry home. Only, there is one problem. I didn't come in the Mazda because it is still in the shop. I'm in a rental, but of course I don't remember this. I make my best attempt to not look stupid as I cris-cross through the isles, looking for my transportation. I manage to do so rather nonchalantly and spot the black Impala. Now it should not be so hard for me to head from where I am standing to where I see the Impala... right?
Yet somehow in the 20 odd steps or so I took, I managed to enter la la land again and walk right past the rental to some other black car. (I think it was a Camry) After a few tries at the door, I realize that I am at the wrong car and try to calmly walk away, further down the isle. I walk past the last car realizing that I have somehow managed to lose the Impala all together, yet I am still doing my best to look cool and aware. As I turn around to see I had past the Impala several cars before the Camry, I realized that a concerned citizen had been watching all of this as she loaded her car. I want to ease the lady's mind and make light of my embarrassment, so I grin at her and say "Stupid rental. Get's me every time!"
She offered a phony smile and continue to watch me as I got in the car and drove off. As I drove off, I wondered if I should consider a "don't go to walmart alone" policy.
And yes... I just took 10 minutes of your time to tell you that I'm a moron who can't remember where I park.
Wait... where was I going with this?? No seriously!!! OH... the other day at Walmart! I decide yesterday afternoon to make a quick trip to Walmart to pick up a few items. Walmart has a sort of... zombie-ish effect on my state of mind. When alone, I tend to wonder through the store emotionless and thoughtless. I somehow manage to gather the item or two I came in to get, but I usually have no memory of how these items came about entering my hands. (Hey! Maybe that's why I get so many funny looks when I'm in walmart...
I manage to pay for the items I had gathered and started toward my Mazda Tribute to hurry home. Only, there is one problem. I didn't come in the Mazda because it is still in the shop. I'm in a rental, but of course I don't remember this. I make my best attempt to not look stupid as I cris-cross through the isles, looking for my transportation. I manage to do so rather nonchalantly and spot the black Impala. Now it should not be so hard for me to head from where I am standing to where I see the Impala... right?
Yet somehow in the 20 odd steps or so I took, I managed to enter la la land again and walk right past the rental to some other black car. (I think it was a Camry) After a few tries at the door, I realize that I am at the wrong car and try to calmly walk away, further down the isle. I walk past the last car realizing that I have somehow managed to lose the Impala all together, yet I am still doing my best to look cool and aware. As I turn around to see I had past the Impala several cars before the Camry, I realized that a concerned citizen had been watching all of this as she loaded her car. I want to ease the lady's mind and make light of my embarrassment, so I grin at her and say "Stupid rental. Get's me every time!"
She offered a phony smile and continue to watch me as I got in the car and drove off. As I drove off, I wondered if I should consider a "don't go to walmart alone" policy.
And yes... I just took 10 minutes of your time to tell you that I'm a moron who can't remember where I park.
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