Sometimes things happen that you just cannot blog about, and sometimes things happen that you just do not WANT to blog about. With that said, the easiest route for me would be to make a few ramblings about how disappointed I am that the Giants lost in the playoffs and throw in a verse or two for good measure. While I cannot say everything that is on my mind, I will attempt to stretch myself and shed a bit of honesty.
This year has not started by any means the way I had anticipated. Feeling a bit dry toward the end of '08, I set my sights on an exciting 2009. I begin thinking of all the great things we would do this year at church with the student ministry. I was so confident that a fresh burst of energy would arise after the holidays, I even calculated a few long awaited personal projects into the equation.
Somehow, my body did not get the message that it was to miraculously refuel itself as 2008 drifted into history and 2009 rolled in. I've marched in to this new year with the same fatigue I was battling at the end of last year. With it, I have also encountered a fender bender that will take time out of my growing busy schedule, doctor's appointments, and a very emotional funeral.
Normally, this is when I realize I need to step back and ask "What is God trying to teach me?" I think, perhaps, the greatest way I could expand that is to actually ask myself "What am I learning?" That could take several days-- maybe weeks-- to answer with everything that is going through my mind. For now, I realize that I am still struggling with many of the issues I have often battling. Somewhere between my head and my heart is a kink in the system, and in that kink I cannot seem to deliver the concept that God is more than capable and willing to meet my every need.
I really miss the friendships and support system I had in Mississippi. Being back there this past week reminded me how precious it really is to my life. I need that same system here, and it seems that the more I desire it-- the harder it becomes to find it. I then begin expecting things from people that are simply not aware of the need. In the midst, I forget to acknowledge that God knows these needs and desires me to cast these burdens into His capable hands.
So did I mention that I am bummed about the Giants not going to the Superbowl.....
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1 comment:
I completely understand how you are feeling. I miss the friendships I had back in MS. The last year and a half have been tough for me and my family. Sometimes I wonder why in the world God brought us here and what in the world He is up to. I have found myself getting so discouraged.
I will be praying for you!
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