It's amazing how little things can happen sometimes that feel absolutely detrimental. These things, while characterized as little, can still manage to leave emotional contusions and lacerations that feel as if they will never be the same.
This is how my journey into the holidays began. With one sharp cut on my heart and a quick blow to my gut, I found myself once again remembering that ministry can be a battlefield. Why is it that this fact manages to sip through the cracks in my memory? After all, this is not my first rodeo. Secondly, the Christian life itself is a battlefield of spiritual warfare. Yet I am prone to forget that our battle is not with flesh and blood.
I fell to remember one important word: grace. Grace is a hard thing to demonstrate when we are raw with emotion, but our enemy knows this.
As previously mentioned, this is how my holiday experience started. I had to practice something I ashamedly admit that I am not good at doing, and that is leaving things in God's hands. There was nothing I could do but get on a plane to PA with my husband and leave the things that threatened (pause for dramatic music) "life as we know it" in more capable hands.
The short conclusion-- for the time being-- is that the battle has at least reached a truce stage, and I'm seeing that this particular situation is not going to be so detrimental after all. Isn't it funny how it can seem that way at times, though?
My contusion and puncture wound is still mending, but it does help to have Spiritual neosporin.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
White Lies and Morning Whispers
"He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies" John 8:44
Late for work, I hurried down the steps this morning thinking about how my heart was bruised from learning that a friend had told me a "little white lie." I'm not sure if my feelings of sorrow were more over the lie itself or the fact that this friend felt they needed to conceal such a ridiculous detail from me. I honestly could care less about what it was they lied about, but the fact that they felt a need to lie about this causes me to question not only the character of this person but the foundation and stability of our friendship. So this was all going through my mind when I heard His gently whisper. "She's human. Forgive her."
Wow, what a simple yet dynamic thought. Why is it that we who bear the name Christ often still struggle with letting our "yes" be "yes" and our "no" be "no"? Why is it that, just like Moses did when he lied about Sara being his sister, do we often think that our little white lie is justifiable? Yet we know from the teachings of Christ that there is no small sin in God's eyes.
We have an enemy who is by nature a liar. In fact, Christ called him the "Father of Lies" and this loser has been teaching the world to lie since he stepped foot on it. So as I contemplated all of this, my sorrow over the incident shifted more to the misleading my friend had experienced. She had been tempted to speak a language contrary to the Spirit but natural to the flesh. Just as she had made a mistake, I too had been guilty of an equally harmful flaw. I had forgotten that this sister in Christ was made of flesh of blood, and my perception of her sainthood did not allow for mistakes. "She's human. Forgive her."
I'm so glad that my Heavenly Father does not lose sight of the fact that I am merely His creation and constantly in need of His forgiveness. I'm glad that His well of mercy never runs dry and that in showing me this wonderful gift of forgiveness, He calls me to follow obediently to give the same to others.
Late for work, I hurried down the steps this morning thinking about how my heart was bruised from learning that a friend had told me a "little white lie." I'm not sure if my feelings of sorrow were more over the lie itself or the fact that this friend felt they needed to conceal such a ridiculous detail from me. I honestly could care less about what it was they lied about, but the fact that they felt a need to lie about this causes me to question not only the character of this person but the foundation and stability of our friendship. So this was all going through my mind when I heard His gently whisper. "She's human. Forgive her."
Wow, what a simple yet dynamic thought. Why is it that we who bear the name Christ often still struggle with letting our "yes" be "yes" and our "no" be "no"? Why is it that, just like Moses did when he lied about Sara being his sister, do we often think that our little white lie is justifiable? Yet we know from the teachings of Christ that there is no small sin in God's eyes.
We have an enemy who is by nature a liar. In fact, Christ called him the "Father of Lies" and this loser has been teaching the world to lie since he stepped foot on it. So as I contemplated all of this, my sorrow over the incident shifted more to the misleading my friend had experienced. She had been tempted to speak a language contrary to the Spirit but natural to the flesh. Just as she had made a mistake, I too had been guilty of an equally harmful flaw. I had forgotten that this sister in Christ was made of flesh of blood, and my perception of her sainthood did not allow for mistakes. "She's human. Forgive her."
I'm so glad that my Heavenly Father does not lose sight of the fact that I am merely His creation and constantly in need of His forgiveness. I'm glad that His well of mercy never runs dry and that in showing me this wonderful gift of forgiveness, He calls me to follow obediently to give the same to others.
Friday, November 21, 2008
The Big Decision
Many times in life, we are faced with forks in the road. Do I go this way or that way? Sometimes you know that both paths in essence lead to the same destination but accomplish the journey in different ways. I have once again found myself at a fork in the road, and I am bringing this big decision to you, my wonderful blog readers.
The Big Decision: Do I go with The Samsung Delve or the LG Rhythm? Yes, it is time I switch to Alltel an say good-bye to Cellular South. Hey, it's not my fault they don't serve the Louisiana area! I must say good-bye to having a Mississippi number and embrace the fact that I am a resident of Louisiana. Despite reviews I read, I am still clueless on which to pick. The idea of having a touch screen phone seems rather rad, and I am a sucker for rad stuff. Yet I see potential long term issues with the touch screen, which makes me consider the Rhythm. My reluctance in making a decision is that I know I will have to live with this phone for a couple of years. Sure, by selecting either phones, I end at the same destination. (That destination being having a new phone that gets the job done) Yet either phone could have different advantages and disadvantages. I have been encouraged to make my decision by days end. Does anyone have any ideas???
The real big decision, however, has to do with a manuscript that some of you have read (Puzzles Pieces.) I'm torn between two options and seeing that I'm proably going to go with neither of the options. (meaning more decisions to make) On a happier note, I am very pleased to say that my mom passed her national boards. She rocks!
The Big Decision: Do I go with The Samsung Delve or the LG Rhythm? Yes, it is time I switch to Alltel an say good-bye to Cellular South. Hey, it's not my fault they don't serve the Louisiana area! I must say good-bye to having a Mississippi number and embrace the fact that I am a resident of Louisiana. Despite reviews I read, I am still clueless on which to pick. The idea of having a touch screen phone seems rather rad, and I am a sucker for rad stuff. Yet I see potential long term issues with the touch screen, which makes me consider the Rhythm. My reluctance in making a decision is that I know I will have to live with this phone for a couple of years. Sure, by selecting either phones, I end at the same destination. (That destination being having a new phone that gets the job done) Yet either phone could have different advantages and disadvantages. I have been encouraged to make my decision by days end. Does anyone have any ideas???
The real big decision, however, has to do with a manuscript that some of you have read (Puzzles Pieces.) I'm torn between two options and seeing that I'm proably going to go with neither of the options. (meaning more decisions to make) On a happier note, I am very pleased to say that my mom passed her national boards. She rocks!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
yawn so more
My alarm and I fought for an hour this morning before it finally won. I am still wrestling with this washed out feeling and waiting for my entire being to be refreshed and refueled. There is little rest for the weary it seems as I am pressing ahead to tomorrow's GroundZero. GroundZero is certainly my favorite time of week, but it is also the most draining event of my normal week.
In a few some odd days, I will head back to Mississippi to embrace an inviting atmosphere and food that just plain out makes you feel good. I hope to do some much needed writing between now and the end of the year. Perhaps during Thanksgiving my brother and I can finally update my very outdated website. (It still has me listed as a Tribble. Maybe that is what they always meant when they said "the trouble with Tribbles...")
In a few some odd days, I will head back to Mississippi to embrace an inviting atmosphere and food that just plain out makes you feel good. I hope to do some much needed writing between now and the end of the year. Perhaps during Thanksgiving my brother and I can finally update my very outdated website. (It still has me listed as a Tribble. Maybe that is what they always meant when they said "the trouble with Tribbles...")
Monday, November 17, 2008
spent
Spent- used up; consumed. exhausted of active or required components are qualities often for a particular purpose. To be drained of energy or effectiveness.
Yes, after the actives of the last couple of weeks, I am definitely spent. I absolutely love the opportunities God has placed before me with my job. Doing what we are passionate about is energizing and life renewing. To do the things I am passionate about, particularly ministry, a good bit of energy (mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical) must be exerted. And while it is an amazing experience, it is certainly draining.
My problem is the refuel process. I'm not patient, and I want this process to happen quickly. I have things to do, and waiting for a form of normalness to reappear in my strength is not something I feel I have time for. Yet God made our bodies to need rest. He formed us to need Him and to need His strength.
In Mark 5:30, Jesus has an experience with a woman who had been ill with a bleeding problem for a long time. The woman knew that if she could just touch Jesus, she would be healed. Reaching out to secretly touch His cloak, the woman found herself the center of attention when Jesus asked who touched Him. Jesus knew this was not just a simple bump of a crowded street. The scripture says that Jesus knew that power had left Him. If Jesus, being both man and God, had the experience of strength and power leaving His body, how much more so is it that we encounter this?
Jesus took time in His ministry to retreat to the Father's presence and distance himself when needed from others. Yet when I find myself drained, I for some reason want to cling to others and neglect alone time. Why are we so backwards?? Why do we insist on doing it our way and forfeiting the reviving that comes from doing it by God's example.
Yes, after the actives of the last couple of weeks, I am definitely spent. I absolutely love the opportunities God has placed before me with my job. Doing what we are passionate about is energizing and life renewing. To do the things I am passionate about, particularly ministry, a good bit of energy (mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical) must be exerted. And while it is an amazing experience, it is certainly draining.
My problem is the refuel process. I'm not patient, and I want this process to happen quickly. I have things to do, and waiting for a form of normalness to reappear in my strength is not something I feel I have time for. Yet God made our bodies to need rest. He formed us to need Him and to need His strength.
In Mark 5:30, Jesus has an experience with a woman who had been ill with a bleeding problem for a long time. The woman knew that if she could just touch Jesus, she would be healed. Reaching out to secretly touch His cloak, the woman found herself the center of attention when Jesus asked who touched Him. Jesus knew this was not just a simple bump of a crowded street. The scripture says that Jesus knew that power had left Him. If Jesus, being both man and God, had the experience of strength and power leaving His body, how much more so is it that we encounter this?
Jesus took time in His ministry to retreat to the Father's presence and distance himself when needed from others. Yet when I find myself drained, I for some reason want to cling to others and neglect alone time. Why are we so backwards?? Why do we insist on doing it our way and forfeiting the reviving that comes from doing it by God's example.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The A.M. Chronicles part two: Still the Man
Yes, we all passed him off as good as done. I could not even believe it myself when I said a couple of years ago, "He will always be one of if not my favorite QB of all time, but I'm afraid it's time he retires." Now at the age of 37, Kurt Warner is showing us that we counted him out just a little too soon.
Warner was an amazing inspiration back in the late 90s when he became the MVP of the Super Bowl. It was special to many due to his hard yard from grocery store sally sacker and arena football player to the starting QB of the St. Louis Rams. Being that I am also a huge Manning fan, I found myself torn when both he and Eli were competing for the starting role in NY. Now, both he and Eli hold a place on my fantasy football roster.
When the season started, I picked Warner up as a "back up" mainly for sentimental reasons. He did help that he had descent stats for an aging quarterback that had not been consistent in years. Now, ironically, he is my starting QB. (He has brought in 199.7 points for my team with his 2760 yards and 19 touchdowns.) It's an additional bonus to see Warner making a comeback because of his faith in Jesus Christ and the way he lives it out. When Boldin had an awfully scary head collision a few weeks ago, youtube was filled with video clips that including shots of Warner leading both teams in prayer.
I think I will definitely have to look for my old #13 Christmas ornament when I go home for Thanksgiving....
Warner was an amazing inspiration back in the late 90s when he became the MVP of the Super Bowl. It was special to many due to his hard yard from grocery store sally sacker and arena football player to the starting QB of the St. Louis Rams. Being that I am also a huge Manning fan, I found myself torn when both he and Eli were competing for the starting role in NY. Now, both he and Eli hold a place on my fantasy football roster.
When the season started, I picked Warner up as a "back up" mainly for sentimental reasons. He did help that he had descent stats for an aging quarterback that had not been consistent in years. Now, ironically, he is my starting QB. (He has brought in 199.7 points for my team with his 2760 yards and 19 touchdowns.) It's an additional bonus to see Warner making a comeback because of his faith in Jesus Christ and the way he lives it out. When Boldin had an awfully scary head collision a few weeks ago, youtube was filled with video clips that including shots of Warner leading both teams in prayer.
I think I will definitely have to look for my old #13 Christmas ornament when I go home for Thanksgiving....
The A.M Chronicles part one: God's strength
The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14
It's been awhile since I felt as spent as I did by Tuesday night of this week. The type of projects that I have found in my lap lately have been stimulating and entertaining. The amount of them and the energy required to completely them, however, has been draining. Monday came this week after a full weekend that demanded not only a significant portion of my time but a significant quantity of mental energy. Not only did Monday come after a full load, but it brought a new load. Transporting Paul to and from work, making two separate trips to the hospital for surgeries, grocery shopping, were just a few things on the list. When Paul's car did not get fixed Monday, I found Tuesday rolling in with more trips to Ruston (which is about 25 minutes away if you are wondering.) With an upcoming student conference, much of Tuesday was taken up with prep task and meetings. By the time the evening arrived, I found my brain's ability to focus non existent.
The challenging in this was that I had yet to devote the time I desired and needed to preparing for my two speaking engagements on Wednesday. I have been good at not committing to additional obligations on Wednesday due to focusing on "GroundZero," our big weekly youth focus event. Since I had previously arranged to have a guest speaker at GroundZero this particular Wednesday, I agreed to speak at the local elementary school when asked. Unfortunately, (or what seemed unfortunate at the time), the guest speaker had to cancel. Now I know what you are thinking. Why not just use the same devotion at both events? This would normally be a great idea, but the age groups and nature of the events were different enough to require two separate lessons.
To cut to the chase (yes... finally!), I knew that God had known all along that both opportunities would be before me on a day when I felt weak and extended. God, in all His power, reached down and gave me the strength needed for both opportunities. His presence truly went with me. The chance to speak at the local elementary school was awesome to say the least, and tonight's GroundZero had an undeniable presence of His Spirit. In fact, I think it had to be one of the best if not the best worship services we have had at GroundZero since I came on board.
God is so awesome, so true to His word, and so amazingly compassionate.
It's been awhile since I felt as spent as I did by Tuesday night of this week. The type of projects that I have found in my lap lately have been stimulating and entertaining. The amount of them and the energy required to completely them, however, has been draining. Monday came this week after a full weekend that demanded not only a significant portion of my time but a significant quantity of mental energy. Not only did Monday come after a full load, but it brought a new load. Transporting Paul to and from work, making two separate trips to the hospital for surgeries, grocery shopping, were just a few things on the list. When Paul's car did not get fixed Monday, I found Tuesday rolling in with more trips to Ruston (which is about 25 minutes away if you are wondering.) With an upcoming student conference, much of Tuesday was taken up with prep task and meetings. By the time the evening arrived, I found my brain's ability to focus non existent.
The challenging in this was that I had yet to devote the time I desired and needed to preparing for my two speaking engagements on Wednesday. I have been good at not committing to additional obligations on Wednesday due to focusing on "GroundZero," our big weekly youth focus event. Since I had previously arranged to have a guest speaker at GroundZero this particular Wednesday, I agreed to speak at the local elementary school when asked. Unfortunately, (or what seemed unfortunate at the time), the guest speaker had to cancel. Now I know what you are thinking. Why not just use the same devotion at both events? This would normally be a great idea, but the age groups and nature of the events were different enough to require two separate lessons.
To cut to the chase (yes... finally!), I knew that God had known all along that both opportunities would be before me on a day when I felt weak and extended. God, in all His power, reached down and gave me the strength needed for both opportunities. His presence truly went with me. The chance to speak at the local elementary school was awesome to say the least, and tonight's GroundZero had an undeniable presence of His Spirit. In fact, I think it had to be one of the best if not the best worship services we have had at GroundZero since I came on board.
God is so awesome, so true to His word, and so amazingly compassionate.
The A.M. Chronicles: the Introduction
It's 2 a.m. in the morning and saying that it has been a long week is an understatement. By all accounts, I should be fast asleep. But alas, the insomnia strikes! I feel it unnecessary to keep Paul awake with my tossing and turning, so I am deciding to retreat to the living room to catch up on some over due blogging. (I'm hoping the light from the computer will be enough to tire my eyes into submission.)
There are several things in which I have wanted to blog about lately but have pushed blogging aside to focus on the infamous to-do list which seems to have the gremlin affect. (I am thoroughly convinced that someone is putting water on my to-do list, causing it to multiply.) In order to break these various subjects in which I desire to write about into smaller, more readable post.... I have decided to create "The A.M. Chronicles." I hope you enjoy...
There are several things in which I have wanted to blog about lately but have pushed blogging aside to focus on the infamous to-do list which seems to have the gremlin affect. (I am thoroughly convinced that someone is putting water on my to-do list, causing it to multiply.) In order to break these various subjects in which I desire to write about into smaller, more readable post.... I have decided to create "The A.M. Chronicles." I hope you enjoy...
Saturday, November 1, 2008
life is good
Life only seems to get busier by the moment, yet I am discovering the joy of relaxing. It seems to come these days in ways I did not expect. Most recently I have learned to appreciate once a week outings onto the apartment balcony to breath in night air and contemplate life with my soul mate. Paul and I have been experiencing the beauty of God weaving two lives together. For Paul, God uses me to soften edges and occasionally make gray areas a matter of black and white. For me, God uses Paul to toughen edges where they need to be stronger and occasionally open my strongly latched mind to new ideas. In doing so, I’m learning to appreciate new things and finding new grooves. Life is busy and hectic and sometimes overwhelming….. but life is good.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
resurfacing
No, we have not fallen off the face of the earth. Things have been rather busy around Hummel Homestead. The pastor at our church resigned and will be leaving November 2nd. Instead of being on call every three weekends, I will now be on call every other weekend.
Paul and I both have had a lot going on with our jobs but we still managed to find time to invite some friends over... and get a complaint about the noise. Apparently we were "walking loudly" around the apartment.... whatever that means. I think the poor souls below us are just jealous that they don't have cool friends to come over and watch stupid movies with.
No spilled coffee lately, yay! (See previous post)
Paul and I both have had a lot going on with our jobs but we still managed to find time to invite some friends over... and get a complaint about the noise. Apparently we were "walking loudly" around the apartment.... whatever that means. I think the poor souls below us are just jealous that they don't have cool friends to come over and watch stupid movies with.
No spilled coffee lately, yay! (See previous post)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
a short update
For my dear loyal readers out there, please excuse the silence of this blog over the last few days.
My mind has been clogged lately with disappointing sports games. The Mets are famously collapsing, the Colts are having a horrible start, and we won't even dare tread the grounds of college football and the disappointing Ole Miss game this past weekend. At least the Red Sox still have a chance at a world series visit. And how about those NY Giants? (Hey, I'd take Eli as my quarterback over Brees and those other "high ranked" qb's any day. )
Things at the Hummel house have stayed busy. This will be my second weekend in a row on call. Last week was filled with hospital visits (ministry related) and this week looks to be as busy. I have fallen behind on my reading and we will blame that on the lack of interesting content in today's blog.
My mind has been clogged lately with disappointing sports games. The Mets are famously collapsing, the Colts are having a horrible start, and we won't even dare tread the grounds of college football and the disappointing Ole Miss game this past weekend. At least the Red Sox still have a chance at a world series visit. And how about those NY Giants? (Hey, I'd take Eli as my quarterback over Brees and those other "high ranked" qb's any day. )
Things at the Hummel house have stayed busy. This will be my second weekend in a row on call. Last week was filled with hospital visits (ministry related) and this week looks to be as busy. I have fallen behind on my reading and we will blame that on the lack of interesting content in today's blog.
Monday, September 15, 2008
There are countless things about God that confuse me. I mean... seriously... try wrapping your mind around the concept of the Trinity. The single attribute that causes me the most trouble, however, would have to be God's holiness.
Read the book of Psalm and you will know what I mean. Psalm is covered with examples of creation crying out in response to God's holiness. Tree's dance! They clap their hands! The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars, and the glory of God thunders. Yet we sit in church Sunday after Sunday, yawning through worship and allowing ourselves to be distracted because we do not know the words to today's chosen chorus.
Remember those toy bow and arrow's with the red rubber tips? As a child I was fascinated at how they always stuck to their target in cartoons but I could never get them to stick to anything. Lick the end and apply with force and it still slid to the ground. When it comes to my memory of God's holiness, I have a toy arrow with a non stick red rubber tip. The realization of God's holiness is motivation for righteous living. It is the motivation for worship and the electricity needed for life.
Read the book of Psalm and you will know what I mean. Psalm is covered with examples of creation crying out in response to God's holiness. Tree's dance! They clap their hands! The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars, and the glory of God thunders. Yet we sit in church Sunday after Sunday, yawning through worship and allowing ourselves to be distracted because we do not know the words to today's chosen chorus.
Remember those toy bow and arrow's with the red rubber tips? As a child I was fascinated at how they always stuck to their target in cartoons but I could never get them to stick to anything. Lick the end and apply with force and it still slid to the ground. When it comes to my memory of God's holiness, I have a toy arrow with a non stick red rubber tip. The realization of God's holiness is motivation for righteous living. It is the motivation for worship and the electricity needed for life.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
coffee stains and so little time
One way or the other, nights at the Hummel apartment end up insomniac for someone. If Paul manages to sleep, I manage to stare to toss and turn. If I manage to sleep, Paul tosses and turns. Last night was my turn to be restless, hence I was unable to get moving this morning.
Work for me starts sharply at 8 am with staff prayer time. For some of you, the idea of not having to be at work until 8 sounds wonderful. For me, it's painful as I find 8 to still be way too early to be anywhere but bed. Nonetheless, I do as required. Every night I set my alarm for 6:40 so that I will have ample time to get ready and arrive to work early enough to unload my arms of bags, keys, and lunch before joining the staff. Of course, this never happens quite like I plan:
6:40 am- "What?? 6:40 ALREADY?? I JUST got to sleep! Not happening". Hit snooze.
6:50 am- "I showered and washed my hair last night. That gives me ten more minutes." Hit snooze again.
7:00 am- "I pressed my clothes last night". Hit snooze again.
7:10 am- .... apparently hits snooze in sleep.
7:20 am- throws cover back, stumbles around to find morning medicine, grumpily moves toward the bathroom.
7:46 am- dressed, ready, and hurring down stairs while muttering, "I really have to start getting up earlier."
7:53 am- still inching toward first intesection with one eye open, the other still asleep, wondering why Cypress Drive decided to get so busy the last two mornings.
7:56 am- finally notice that I am listening to a new Christian song on my xm. catch the phrase, "so little time" and realize that I have embarked on a brand new day that is waiting to be filled!
8:05 am - wondering what on earth is in my messenger bag that is so heavy and why i need it in there while sprinting to staff prayer. see children's minister and converse as to whether we have missed prayer time by the absence of the rest of the staff.
8:20 am- sit in my office with Bible open, reflecting on Psalm 19 and feeling good about the process. Remember that I really like my new thinline Bible that is all new, pretty, and perfect for carring around while speaking.
8:35 am- watch in slow motion as coffee mug turns over, drenching pretty thinline Bible, papers on desk, and khaki pants.
10:00 am- go to associational event being held at my church (for senior adults) and showcase my new look-- coffee stained khaki's. meet people from area churches. hear a good, profound lesson. contemplate life.
Work for me starts sharply at 8 am with staff prayer time. For some of you, the idea of not having to be at work until 8 sounds wonderful. For me, it's painful as I find 8 to still be way too early to be anywhere but bed. Nonetheless, I do as required. Every night I set my alarm for 6:40 so that I will have ample time to get ready and arrive to work early enough to unload my arms of bags, keys, and lunch before joining the staff. Of course, this never happens quite like I plan:
6:40 am- "What?? 6:40 ALREADY?? I JUST got to sleep! Not happening". Hit snooze.
6:50 am- "I showered and washed my hair last night. That gives me ten more minutes." Hit snooze again.
7:00 am- "I pressed my clothes last night". Hit snooze again.
7:10 am- .... apparently hits snooze in sleep.
7:20 am- throws cover back, stumbles around to find morning medicine, grumpily moves toward the bathroom.
7:46 am- dressed, ready, and hurring down stairs while muttering, "I really have to start getting up earlier."
7:53 am- still inching toward first intesection with one eye open, the other still asleep, wondering why Cypress Drive decided to get so busy the last two mornings.
7:56 am- finally notice that I am listening to a new Christian song on my xm. catch the phrase, "so little time" and realize that I have embarked on a brand new day that is waiting to be filled!
8:05 am - wondering what on earth is in my messenger bag that is so heavy and why i need it in there while sprinting to staff prayer. see children's minister and converse as to whether we have missed prayer time by the absence of the rest of the staff.
8:20 am- sit in my office with Bible open, reflecting on Psalm 19 and feeling good about the process. Remember that I really like my new thinline Bible that is all new, pretty, and perfect for carring around while speaking.
8:35 am- watch in slow motion as coffee mug turns over, drenching pretty thinline Bible, papers on desk, and khaki pants.
10:00 am- go to associational event being held at my church (for senior adults) and showcase my new look-- coffee stained khaki's. meet people from area churches. hear a good, profound lesson. contemplate life.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
a wordy thought
I use to be imaginative and artistic in expressing my thoughts. Jotting my thoughts use to be a therapeutic activity that painted the black and white events of my day into a rainbow of amusement.
Over the past year or so, it seems that the creative spark within me has lost it's petroleum (or whatever it is that energizes it.) After half a cup of coffee and a few bites of a blueberry bagel, I have concluded that all the many reasons for this can be summed into one of two explanations. Either my colorful expressive side has dwindled due to environmental factors, or it was simply a shallow phase, not deeply rooted into my uttermost being.
I once had an english teacher say that people are often their most creative in their mid teen years. This is a time in life when life feels its rawest and most expressive. This stage produces, as she said, some of the best poetry and writtings many of us ever produce. Those with the real talent for it continue in the process, developing this talent as they fuel it with experiences. Shelfing that thought for the moment, let's consider the thought that my dwindled expressiveness is the result of environmental factors.
The Negative. In college I learned the habit of staying on the go all the time. If I was not overloaded with responsibilities and commitments, something must be wrong so by all means add something to the plate. That's not to say that I did not have my share of lazy times. When I entered into the work force, I suppose the same stayed true. Burnout was a routine that happened every several months or so. I would get my second wind and off I would go with a full loaded plate in both hands. My personality was also that of a giver, often giving more of myself than I could afford to give to people, relationships, and those involved in the various projects before me. About two years ago, my burnout reached a new high. This was not all bad as I learned some necessarly lessons. The down side is that something inside of me has yet to be the same. The way I take on projects and relationships has held a inner distance that lacks the raw passion that has often made me expressive. Even now when things around me are good, I am drawn to complete laziness when possible.
The Positive. There are plenty of experiences in my enviornment to draw from. After all, I have a brand new marriage and love is in the air! I'm living in a different state for the first time ever. (My life has been full of travels and short term stays in other places, but this is the first time i'm actually "living" outside of Mississippi.) I have a brand new job with plenty of happenings and bright potentials.
Now let's consider that my situation is not influenced by my environment. Perhaps I was never that gifted to begin with. It is possible that that natural process of my youth, salted with the flavor of being ADD, brought forth a limited expressiveness that withers and fads in the late 20s.
I shall think on these things.... but not very long or hard.
Over the past year or so, it seems that the creative spark within me has lost it's petroleum (or whatever it is that energizes it.) After half a cup of coffee and a few bites of a blueberry bagel, I have concluded that all the many reasons for this can be summed into one of two explanations. Either my colorful expressive side has dwindled due to environmental factors, or it was simply a shallow phase, not deeply rooted into my uttermost being.
I once had an english teacher say that people are often their most creative in their mid teen years. This is a time in life when life feels its rawest and most expressive. This stage produces, as she said, some of the best poetry and writtings many of us ever produce. Those with the real talent for it continue in the process, developing this talent as they fuel it with experiences. Shelfing that thought for the moment, let's consider the thought that my dwindled expressiveness is the result of environmental factors.
The Negative. In college I learned the habit of staying on the go all the time. If I was not overloaded with responsibilities and commitments, something must be wrong so by all means add something to the plate. That's not to say that I did not have my share of lazy times. When I entered into the work force, I suppose the same stayed true. Burnout was a routine that happened every several months or so. I would get my second wind and off I would go with a full loaded plate in both hands. My personality was also that of a giver, often giving more of myself than I could afford to give to people, relationships, and those involved in the various projects before me. About two years ago, my burnout reached a new high. This was not all bad as I learned some necessarly lessons. The down side is that something inside of me has yet to be the same. The way I take on projects and relationships has held a inner distance that lacks the raw passion that has often made me expressive. Even now when things around me are good, I am drawn to complete laziness when possible.
The Positive. There are plenty of experiences in my enviornment to draw from. After all, I have a brand new marriage and love is in the air! I'm living in a different state for the first time ever. (My life has been full of travels and short term stays in other places, but this is the first time i'm actually "living" outside of Mississippi.) I have a brand new job with plenty of happenings and bright potentials.
Now let's consider that my situation is not influenced by my environment. Perhaps I was never that gifted to begin with. It is possible that that natural process of my youth, salted with the flavor of being ADD, brought forth a limited expressiveness that withers and fads in the late 20s.
I shall think on these things.... but not very long or hard.
Monday, September 8, 2008
A little bit of...
After six months away from the blogging world, the itch to regularly jot down my random thoughts on the world wide web has resurfaced. I previously held a blog page on that other big blog spot under my maiden name plus a "ster". Yet after three and half months of marriage, a new job, a new location, I felt a new blog was in order.
My old blog held the title "The written account of one Christian's journey." (I promise not to frequently mention to the old blog. In fact, this blog will be the only time. I only mention the former as a preface for the new.) My life will always be an account of a Christian's journey as that is what I am... a Christian on a journey. But since my life is often a goulash of likings to music, sports, coffee, and whatever else floats my boat at the time.... the new blog is hodgepodged together under the title "pigskin diamonds and latte frets."
If you are bored enough to read my ramblings about baseball, football, the flavor coffee I recently tried or what political issue I currently am following, please visit back often.
My old blog held the title "The written account of one Christian's journey." (I promise not to frequently mention to the old blog. In fact, this blog will be the only time. I only mention the former as a preface for the new.) My life will always be an account of a Christian's journey as that is what I am... a Christian on a journey. But since my life is often a goulash of likings to music, sports, coffee, and whatever else floats my boat at the time.... the new blog is hodgepodged together under the title "pigskin diamonds and latte frets."
If you are bored enough to read my ramblings about baseball, football, the flavor coffee I recently tried or what political issue I currently am following, please visit back often.
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